Recently I had to make a tough decision. I had to put a friendship on hold with a friend of the last few years. He suggested it and I totally agreed. You see, the finances of his family are intertwined with my parents, and they are at odds with one another. Therein is the dilemma. What to do? - stand by my friend when I believe he is right and defy my parents or remove myself from the conflict. So, I have decided to take a step back to avoid a conflict that is going to result in hurting someone I care for on either side. This is a new one for me.

There are times to leave the door open and times to close the door.  You may not have an office setting that you work in and if you do you may not have a door to shut but the principle is true.  When I need to get the most important task done that requires concentration I shut the door.  As a  pastor it’s important that I shut the door to the few to bless the many.  (Can I get a witness?)  This is more critical with the craziness of our summer schedules…I have to shut the door and get that critical task done.  (OK back to message prep for me.)

Ok, time to talk values.  I value trying something over perfecting something.  I don’t punish mistakes in the name of thoughtful experimentation.  Thankfully I get to eat my own words.

See, yesterday, I experimented with ending the teaching different than I ever had before.  I didn’t want to just talk about inner healing but try to lead us through a prayer time to actually experience it.  The problem is that I tried too much.  I was asking people to raise hands as I walked through specific needs they had in prayer and we gave an opportunity for people to come up for prayer and we gave people an opportunity to fill out the guest card and we…you get the point.  Too much action requested.  Maybe someone thought, “Am I supposed to raise my hand, come forward, while filling out a card?”  Discovery Church, here’s to better landings…

Any landings you need to work on because they’re canceling out the efforts in takeoff and flight?

As explained here this continues my top 3 messages that have impacted me in ministry the most.

This document is a typed talk (Thanks Daina!) from a tape of Bill Hybels walking through his breakdown in the early 90’s.  Vintage stuff here for the committed reader.  I wanted it typed because I knew the tape would break soon from being old and played so much.  It did break while being typed so there is just a bit missing but you’ll get the meat.  He goes into detail about watching your emotional gauge.  That idea is so big a book needs to be written on it.  Wait, hopefully soon on this blog I’ll break news of a friend of mine who is doing just that.

Read Bill Hybel’s story and enhance your leadership…

surviving-leadership

I read a blog of a very visible pastor on hiring.  He said something to the effect of, “we only hire people who have success in their background”.  He went on to talk about not wanting to manage people.

I agreed with him, to an extent.  As a pastor I don’t want to have people serving with me that I have to hand-hold.  But at the same time how else can you find people who can lead well unless they learned through some hard knocks.

I think it was partly frustrating for making me feel “small” in my ministerial pursuits.  It was good because it led me to mentally re-travel my past and evaluate what I had done well and what I screwed up.  I learn from the screw ups and no one can take the wins from me.  Good exercise.  Then I laughed because I remember this pastor’s first church plant didn’t “survive”.  If you’re on the top.  Remember you weren’t always there.  If you’re traveling up…yesterday doesn’t define you.

The more I study different disciplines and fields of knowledge I find paradoxes everywhere.

Leadership :  Give direction or take input?  Shut the door to focus or manage by walking around?  Ad infinitum…

Christianity:  Is Jesus fully God or fully man?  Did I choose Jesus or did He choose me?

Personal Budget:  Should I spend this money to meet a need or save it for a later need?

Communication:  Is the medium the message or is the medium separate from the message?

Parenting:  Should I discipline my child for harmful behavior or be understanding of larger issues of the day (messed up schedule, etc)?

Marriage:  Should I tell my wife the truth about dinner or …well maybe not that one.  (My wife is an awesome cook so this one is safe.  My stomach pudge will speak no lies. )

We can keep going if you want to.  I’ve understood at different times and in different areas the truth of this idea but not until about a year ago did I see it a large, transcendent idea.  I’ve believed Jesus can be fully God and it doesn’t diminish the fullness of His humanity.  How it works?  I don’t know.  But the truth is in the paradox.  Two opposing ideas can be simultaneously true at the same time.  Live is lived in the moments.  Surrender.  Should I shut the door or walk around?  Dunno.  Depends.  At different moments both are the right decision.  Do I relate more in this moment to the deity of Jesus or the humanity of Jesus?  Put my child in time-out or give them a hug and hold them?  Ahhh.  No A-B-C here just the pull of the paradox.  The answer is both.  Your adventure is choosing which one to walk in.  May the Holy Spirit guide you to the place where  “truth is found in the tension.”

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr
Danish physicist (1885 - 1962)