It’s hard to care.  It’s hard to handle all the news of our global village called Earth.  I won’t list out examples here, because frankly you hear enough already.

I remember in college I tried to educate myself about all the injustice in the world and took action everywhere possible.  I stayed away from major brands that used sweat shops.  I gave Bibles in the names of others for Christmas through Voice of the Martys.  I had a framed print of Christians burning at the cross in the Coliseum with lions approaching.  I was hard core.  Others have done much more than me but I was doing the best I could.  And that’s all we can do.  Make the difference where we can, how we can.

I had a thought yesterday that brought me a lot of hope.  Social justice is critical.  It is an outflow of our salvation.  But it is an outflow.  The primary focus of the gospel is that I am empowered to fellowship with Jesus and live the fruits of the Spirit through any suffering I may face.  (John the Baptist is beheaded.  Stephen is stoned.  Paul is joyful in prison.)  I don’t have to seek out suffering but I can make it through.  If you feel overwhelmed with the problems of the world and the world’s suffering…  Rejoice in Jesus.  Rejoice in the gospel that’s been given.  We can’t solve all the problems but we can share a power that overcomes.

I was looking through some journals I had to do for a seminary class.  They are from over 8 years ago when Brandi and I first got married.  It was an interesting confirmation of something I’ve been tinkering with for a few years.

Some things about myself that I wanted to change, have.  Some haven’t.

• I’m still always planning in mind.
• I’m still frustrated if I experience unecessary consequences for someone else’s lack of planning.
• I don’t verbalize that frustration, always.
• I don’t have to live in the future.  I can mentally enjoy the present, sometimes.  (Reading a weighty book on this right now The Sacrament of the Present Moment if you need help with this like me.)
• I am able to serve in my interpersonal relationships rather than being controlling and/or manipulative, most times.

See, Jesus is changing me.  His power is at work to make me more like Him, transformed from glory to glory.  That’s good.  But some things won’t change about who I am and my unique personality.  That’s good too.

I always get cracked up when I hear preachers teach on the spiritual gifts, especially in Romans 7.  They will say, “Your gift may be teaching but you need to learn to serve”.  Is that true?  At some level.  But the point of the passage is in the wording and it is explicit.  “To those with the gift of encouragement…encourage!”

Let’s close this down.  There may be some things that you want to desperately change about yourself (ahem, or your best friend or spouse or boss) that will never change.  Why?  Because they are your personality.  Some things that you want to change, could, because they are in the domain of performance (spiritually I know performance isn’t the best word but go with me).

Reflect on your prayers.  Listen to them.  Are you asking God to change your personality or performance?  Find ways to lean into your personality.  Use your gifts.  Keep your mouth shut when the observations of your personality will unduly harm the relationships you’re in.   And ask God to change your performance, to make you more like Jesus through your unique personality.

Contribute to the discussion…

I get cracked up at the “big game”.  People on both sides are Christians.  Yet, the team that wins, usually has a p.r. representative for Jesus say something like, “I couldn’t have won this without Jesus”.

2 questions:

1. What about the other team?  Are there no believers on that team Jesus wanted to help?  Did Jesus help the team that won, more?
2. Has anyone ever won the Super Bowl without the help of Jesus?  Of course.  People that would never call themselves Christians have won, how?

3 implications:

1. Whatever your super bowl or your daily “grind” know that Jesus will help you.
2. He might deliver you miraculously.  An amazing catch.  A solid tackle.  A new job offer.  A closed deal.  Smiling, obedient children when you’re tired.  He might not.
3. He will give you the ability to live the fruits of the Spirit. (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control)  This, in the end, is winning.

Just once I’d like to hear someone holding a trophy say, “I’m thankful to God for my talents.  I celebrate this moment.  Thank you Jesus that you’re making me a more whole person.”  Alright, well that wouldn’t work for a soundbite but you get the point.

Quotes from The Pressure’s Off by Larry Crabb:

(These were actually copied from a blog I read…I just don’t remember where.  The bold is mine.)

“Our greatest need is for a fresh encounter with God that exposes sin as repulsive and reveals as repulsive sin our determination to make this life work, no matter how spiritually we go about it.”

“We taste so little of the mouth-stopping, complaint-ending, desire-deepening awe that His presence creates when we think more about our problems and how to solve them than about meeting Him. We experience so little of the joy that sustains us in suffering and the hope that anchors us amid shattered dreams when we come to Him looking for the pathway out of hardships instead of the pathway into His presence.”

I’ve approached God the wrong way many times.  Does this rock you like it does me?

Below is some copied dialogue from an email I received about Sunday’s message:

Curious George

My reply:

Cool.  Thanks for the feedback.

1.  If you mean you need to release the power to punish in general…Stop trying to exact a price from those who have hurt you.  If it came across that you release the power to punish God then I should’ve made that clearer.  We can hurt God.  But I should’ve explained more about how that works.
2.  Forgive God…sounds scandalous.  A lot of folks I’ve talked to over the years, including me, have gone through moments when they find themselves angry at God and are aware of it or they’re angry at Him and not aware.  When you say, “forgive God” it sounds theologically way off.  But if you say “release the right you feel you have to punish God, exact a price, etc” you’re on solid ground.  Stop beating His chest and embrace Him back, is the visual I have right now.

Both of these places are areas my message needed to sharper, tighter, and clearer as I reflect back.

I’d love to talk more about both of these, anytime.  Hope this helps.

OK, I know.  I’ve talked a lot about our experience of God’s presence.  I can hear some of the objections.  “What about faith?”  “Don’t we live by faith over feelings?”  Sure.  There will be future posts dedicated to wrestling with these ideas.

For now, let’s acknowledge the wilderness.  From a song, Desert by Hillsong :

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

The desert is real.  The wilderness can be long.  I vividly remember a friend of mine in college going through a lengthy phase when he would read scripture and try to pray but gain no awareness of God’s presence.  You know what he did?  Kept going.  The wilderness ended.  The desert doesn’t last forever.

I think we face one of three choices in the wilderness in regards to our faith in God’s goodness towards us:
1.  Reason out where God’s goodness ends and our responsibility begins.  (Due to my analytical nature, this is where I lean.)

2.  Give up and become fiercely cynical.  (Where I feel like living some days.)

3.  Develop a faith that clings.  Keep reading Scripture, confessing truth, praying, and seeking God’s presence even when you don’t know.  (Who I want to be.)  I still use my mind.  Like the first scenario I want to think intelligently about my faith but it’s faith first, then analysis.

I really think #3 articulates a faith that is (Warning: cliché ahead) tested, tried, and true.  Can I have faith like the heroes of Hebrews 11?  Many of whom welcomed a promise they did not receive on this side of eternity.