I was walking through a local elementary school.  On the wall some 5th graders had recorded things they want to change about their world.  The above pic is one of the entries.  I stopped and photographed all the ones about dads.  Here they are:  (They all start with “If I could change one thing about my life”)

• I would change how my dad keeps bringing different girls in our lives just to make our mom jealous.
• it would be for my mom (to) find a good man
• I would change the cycle with my step dad.  I mean, I know I love him but he keeps going away and my dad keeps talking about my mom and him.
• it would be the way my parents fight.  They don’t like each other.  And I would change the way my dad treats me.
• it (would) be that my mom and dad would stop spending money so they can pay the bills.
• it would be that my parents didn’t have to work so much.
• it would be that my dad would stop getting girlfriends and it would be just me and him.
• it would be to spend more time with my family on Saturday because my mom works and my dad sleeps.
• I would change how I won’t let go of the fact that my dad isn’t in my life.
• it would be that my dad could control his anger.
• it would be for my parents to stop fighting and smoking.

I made it.  I’m at school for the next two weeks.  It is a huge and timely blessing to be here.  Thanks for your prayers and support to get me here.

Happy Birthday to the blog!  It slipped by unnoticed on March 20.  It’s hard to believe a year has passed by.

Plus I wanted to repost this.  It’s from October but it’s what I’m thinking about this morning.  Enjoy.

a thought of hope for your Saturday
October 18th, 2008

Posted by Chris

Two things I’m learning (over and over right now):

1.  Honestly facing your emotions can sometimes be hard.  It’s easy to embrace the joy but harder to get past the shame that drives so many of us and face the disappointment and grief.  It’s like we feel we’re giving up on God and faith to honestly embrace where we are in this or that moment of life.  Faith isn’t denial.  It’s embracing reality and hoping for a better reality (internally or externally) now or “in the ages to come”  (fancy speak for heaven).

2. Once you can admit the emotion then what?  (C’mon.  You can do it.  It’s hard for me to say, “I’m afraid or __________ but it is the first step to liberation.)  Ask for prayer.  What?  Isn’t it more complicated.  Nope.  I remember noticing how dependent Paul seemed to be on the prayers of others and I remember thinking a couple of years ago that I didn’t feel like I needed the prayers of others.  So I prayed, “Lord help me be more dependent on the prayers of others.”  STUPID.  Now I know what it feels like to entrust my heart to a good friend confident of the Holy Spirit’s power as he prays for me in my powerlessness.  Check this out, “On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.”  (2 Corinthians 1:10-11) Paul believed the prayers of could accomplish things in his life that his prayers evidently couldn’t.  If Paul needs help…

Your friends need your prayers.  You need to ask for it.  I’m asking.  Would you pray for me?  (I know many of you do.)

So the market got pummeled yesterday.  What does that have to do with your marriage?  You know.  Layoffs, downsizing, and closed businesses make for messy finances.  Stressed finances = Stressed spouses = finding out what your marriage is really made of.

I’m not here to condemn.  Brandi and I have weathered and are weathering a lot.  We all do.  We admitted to each other over 2 years ago that we sensed we were growing apart.  We have been working diligently to change that.  The culmination of our journey is that I don’t like to teach on marriage.  At least not in the way people think I should.  I don’t want to share 10 tips for better communication.  Proverbs isn’t in the Bible to back up the latest wordsmithing from psychology superstars.  Those 10 tips are fine and well but if your heart stays the same, so will the marriage.

See, if I’m going to teach on marriage there’s one point I’m passionate about.  You can have a thriving heart with out having a thriving marriage.  Make the goal to have a thriving heart and you might have a thriving marriage.  Unless there’s abuse or an affair (and for the affair even then…) you’ve made some vows that transcend your “happy feelings”.  You can shout, wave your arms, blame, act in bitterness (I am the pot calling the kettle black…fyi) and it won’t change your spouse.  Stop trying to change them.  Determine that you believe the gospel.  You can live the fruits of the Spirit in Jesus regardless of your circumstances, even the attitude and choices of your mate.  The best chance your and my marriage has for thriving, much less running the distance, is to lead our hearts to live the gospel and thrive.  Everything else flows from that.

(Dear readers, I am reflecting on a journey that Brandi and I are experiencing momentum.  Don’t read things into this that aren’t there.  I wouldn’t have posted this 2 years ago when we admitted it, I don’t think. )

Thoughts?