I’m saddened.  A large organization that is showing many signs of decline (dwindling numbers, splintering factions) is attempting to re-unite around a commitment to the “Great Commission”.  (The command Jesus gave at the end of Matthew to go into the world and make disciples.)  The idea is that this can be the unifying point as there’s a concerted effort to rally the troops to bear fruit.

I hope this concerns you.  Is it a command worthy of our focus and commitment?  Absolutely.  It just needs to be second.  The first thing we commit surrender to as Christians is abiding.  (See John 15:4) What if we rallied around that idea?  It sounds naive but it’s the only proper order.  We abide then act.  The fruitfulness comes out of overflow.  When we freak out over numbers and attempt to “push through” our own efforts at change by acting before we abide, the fruit that lasts won’t come.  Will you abide today?

Most people with any connection to Christianity have experienced the threats.  Hellfire and brimstone.  Feel the heat, baby.  In my unbalanced and unwise zealousness I pulled a typical trick as a counselor at a children’s camp.  I gathered them around the fire.  You can guess the rest.  “If you think this is hot…”  A couple thoughts for you…

1.  Jesus usually spoke of the kingdom in terms of good desires.  A great pearl.  Quenched thirst.  I say usually because there are references to hell but He spoke of the gospel as embracing God not running from punishment.  Jesus came to remove the fear of approaching the Father and show us His heart of complete delight and acceptance.

2.  The result of falleness is shame.  In the garden they were naked and “felt no shame”.  Then they sinned and hid.  Adam and Eve had no previous history to cause them to hide.  All they knew was delight and acceptance.  Shame is the internal companion of every human being from that point in the garden when Adam and Eve made that damning choice to be their own god.  Using an eternal destination to shame someone might produce quick results but long term it will not transform.  Internally, the shame is already there.  The love of the Father to heal our shame is beautiful enough to pull someone in rather than using threats to push someone in fear.

3 ways this impacts us as parents…

• Shame is not used to produce desired behavior.  It might produce quick results but it will not transform long-term.  Threatening your kids with hell and using church or spiritual activities to punish will backfire.  (We slip up and make the mistake of using shaming statements but we go back and validate the feeling of the moment and re-parent through it.)
• We have a duty to protect our kids from children and youth events where they are threatened with hell, punishment, and shaming statements.  I don’t want my childrens’ hearts toyed with for the sake of a speaker’s ego.  We want them to learn the Father’s delight not see Him as a judge who’s ready to pounce quickly when the screw up.
• We take time to have discussions where we dream of heaven as a family.  Again, using what Jesus would do we make the life God offers attractive rather than fear the punishment.  This is fun stuff.  We believe heaven will be greater than our wildest desires.  I’ll tell my children I’m going to canoe rivers until I don’t feel like it.  And then I’m going to swim in a river of ice cream.  Ummmmm.  I can almost taste it now.

What do you dream of doing there?

Church can be a funny place.  Hopefully we go to get help and grow.  Yet it becomes a place where we fake a smile or a “God bless you”.  Many Christian environments encourage this mindset that we should always be cheery and optimistic in our faith.  I’ve written about this before.  Frankly there are large parts of our Bible that we need to cut out if we don’t allow for the honest acknowledgement of painful emotions to God and at times others.  There’s a whole book of the Bible called Lamentations.  Jeremiah curses God.  Heck, many of the prophets get testy.   Here’s some thoughts:

• Acknowledge the feeling.  God knows you’re feeling it (or suppressing it).
• Write it out to God as a “lament” prayer.  Grieve the loss.
• Remove the filter of what’s socially acceptable in your language to God.  Express the feeling.  Passion over pretty.
• Be careful not to rush.  Don’t expect to tie up all the emotional ends immediately. It’s a process.

From an email I sent to a friend today that had concerns about lamenting fostering a victim mentality:

“Grieving /lamenting means I acknowledge wounding, pain and hardship in my life regardless of how severe.  Being a victim means I use those circumstances as an excuse to not accept personal responsibility for my choices today.”

Grieve and accept personal responsibility for your choices today.  Thoughts?